What relationship energy do you have?
Who are you? Really take a second and ponder that question. Who are you really? When you think of yourself, consider yourself as more than one person. Who are you in business? Who are you in the family? Who are you at the gym? Who are you as a lover? Most people do not take the time to really think about these things, better yet, they just go into every situation playing the role as the person they think they are. We all have strengths and weaknesses in all areas of our lives.
In all areas of our lives we handle situations with different energies. Look at these energies in two categories. They either fall under “Feminine” or “Masculine”. Most people have a hard time with this concept, because they cannot separate the female or woman and male or man from the feminine and masculine. The first thing you must understand is feminine and masculine energies have nothing to do with male or female. All of us have both feminine and masculine tendencies. These tendencies are what we need to recognize and foster to become complete souls and connected to our higher selves.
So how do you go about getting connected to your energies? First you must understand the concept that these energies have nothing to do with playing Barbie’s or with cars, growing a mustache or shaving your legs, wearing make-up or having greasy fingernails. But has everything to do with how your mind (or soul) works with these things. We must understand that one energy is not better than the other. To be a completely balanced individual, these energies must also be balanced within you. The following is a comparative list of words for each energy.
Right-brain thoughtful Protecting
Adaptable Left-brain analytical
As you can see, we all use both these energies in different areas of our lives. A woman running her own business is going to be more logical, a man raising his daughter is going to be more patient. This again has nothing to do with rather he or she is male or female. The trick here is to figure out where in our lives we use these energies and where we need to alter how we use them. Giving more strength or creativity at work, being gentle or more rational at home.
When it comes to starting a new relationship, it helps to know where you live with your energies and finding a partner that offsets your durability and your vulnerability. One example I love to give is of a female friend of mine who is very masculine in her career. She runs a highly successful company and must show this masculinity on a daily basis. The problems come when she starts to date. Away from her career, she wants to be and feel more feminine (who she truly is on the inside). Most of the men she finds, seem to be intimidated by the level of success she has achieved. The push and pull on the relationships, always surface around the competition in careers. After many conversations and exercises, we zeroed in on where her energies lie and what she’s actually looking for in a partner. We constructed a list of absolute must haves in this ideal partner. Once this was done, we put these “must have’s” in categories of energy. These prerequisites ranged from; successful career, independent, masculine, soft at times and dominating at others along with a few more. Let’s take the same female, now she is dating a successful business owner, but his business is more on the feminine side of things. He designs and builds motorcycles, extremely creative. He’s a single dad, nurturing. Prefers a “woman’s” woman and is masculine in the intimacy arena. There is no career competition between them, even though they are both highly accomplished. He’s confident and loves to exhibit her beauty when they’re out together. I have heard others say this is not a likely situation for most. I could not disagree more. You have to know who you are, what you want, and what you have to offer. Set boundaries for your relationships (of all kinds), and connect with those who match who you are (the yin/yang relationships). If you interact within “your” set boundaries and not let others shift you, getting you off balance. The universe has a way of giving you what you want. Just be ready for when that happens. Now go out there, figure out who you are, and have fun with the process.